There is no relationship in the world where people don't argue. If a couple says they don't argue it can mean one of two things either they're just getting to know each other or they're lying.
Managing conflict is one of the most important skills in any relationship. The one simple question that improves any relationship is how will I feel in one year about this current conflict in my relationship?
People feel more forgiving and interpret their relationship in a more positive light when looking at it from a future perspective. When couples and partners argue about finances, family, jealousy or attention or whatever it may be in those situations we use our current feelings as fuel for a heated argument. But with this simple shift we're envisioning our relationships from the future we're actually able to mitigate conflicts and think of things with a bigger perspective and picture. When we start thinking about things through the future we use more long-term thinking. We start using our reasoning strategies, our more mature intelligence rather than are currently emotion filled mind.
How many times have you said something in the moment that you regret later? How many times have you made an impulse decision that you later recognize wasn't the right one? When we employ future perspectives thinking we get the ability to rise above our current emotions and start thinking from a point of intelligence. When we do this we blame our partners less; we take more responsibility about what we can change; we're more forgiving and we're even more able to focus on why the conflict happened in the first place.
How many times have you started an argument let it continue for days and even forgotten why it started? Next time you're in a conflict or an argument or a debate with your partner, asked yourself this question "how will I feel in one year about this current conflict in my relationship?" There will make a difference and will surely give you perspective.
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