How Do You Know When You've Found the One?

Published on February 17, 2023

Think about it for a moment in your life, you've probably had relationship and love advice from so many different people and places. You've probably had some from your family, friends you've definitely had tons of advice knowing or unknowingly from the TV programs you watch. Without a doubt the movies that you watch have had a massive impact on what you think love looks like.

Not only have we been exposed to so many different ideas and advice from what we consume but even the people around us from watching our parents to watching our friends to watching our aunts and uncles to watching the people that we grew up around all of these ideas have left an imprint on what we think about love and finding the one. And all these things also put ideas into our heads about what the other person likes. and this starts to form our ideas about what we believe about relationships.

I'm going to give you my top ten ways of knowing when you've found the one.

1. They'll support and mutually respect your dreams

That doesn't mean that they're gonna do your dreams for you. It doesn't mean that they're always gonna be there cheering you on but it means that they respect your priority about your dreams; they value what you're chasing they believe in it as much as you do and they want to see you get there. They're not trying to hold you back they're not trying to stop you from getting there they're not trying to restrict you and trap you in any way. They want to see you grow genuinely.

2. They'll really be present with you in the moment

I love being around people who help me forget to look at my phone. That's the kind of person that you want to be with. someone who's not distracted by their phone by their messages by their friends by anything else; when they're with, you they're with you! If they keep forgetting what you're saying chances are they're not the one.

3. The person is self-aware and knows their self-worth

They're independent they were able to grow on their own. They have their own set of friends they have their own set of values they have their own set of priorities. Some of them may match with yours but some of them may be different. But they're their own person they're not looking for you to complete them they're not looking for you to finish them they're looking for you to enhance them and help them grow they're growing with you and they're gonna help you grow too.

4. Trustworthy

This one's a tough one because sometimes you find out the hard way and some of us have been there so my take is that trust should be earned it's not something that should be given upfront. Usually, we have this belief that I either trust someone or I don't trust them at all. My idea is that there's actually layers of trust you have no trust at the bottom but then there's step one step two step three step four etc, which leads to unconditional trust. The challenges we put our expectation when we are with someone that we can unconditionally trust them and actually their trust levels down here that gap is exactly how much pain you end up feeling. Remember trust is something that's earned don't give it straight away. Let that person through their actions and their thoughts and their words earn your trust.

5. You are comfortable

you don't always need someone or something else to keep the chemistry, keep the entertainment and make things fresh when you feel like you always need an external form of thrill or excitement to keep everything special between you two. It's a sign that you actually be connecting with each other but connecting with that other thing

6. You can spend time apart

You can spend time apart but can't wait to be back so you're comfortable traveling in different parts of the world for work, study, in different areas of the world maybe in the same country maybe in a different one. You can't wait to be together, and the challenge is that we usually get frustrated when you're apart from someone that you love, will want to be with. You start getting frustrated and you take it out on them which I see weakens the relationship you know when you found the one because you realize that you don't let that frustration affect your relationship with them you find other ways of releasing sharing that but you're making sure that you're not ruining your own relationship because of the frustration of not being together in the first place.

7. You can disagree

people think that you found the one when you agree on everything when you like the same stuff when everything matches. That's not true at all you can actually disagree with that person. You can have different ideas and you still learn to work together. It's pretty difficult to find anyone in the world who agrees with you on absolutely everything so they expect to find the one who has that that's pretty unlikely.

8. You don't have to like each other's friends

I think there's so much pressure to be liked by the other person's friends for them to like your friends, for your friends to like them. Chances are that you're putting in way too many tick boxes they're gonna be quite difficult to manage. If your friends think that they're totally crazy or they think your friends are crazy definitely take a look at that but the truth is that it's important that you guys get along even if they're friends with a whole different circle of people and you're friends with a whole different circular people that doesn't mean you can't be great together.

9. You can be your real self

You can be your real self not your LinkedIn profile, not your Facebook profile, not your Instagram profile not your Twitter profile you can let go of all those identities and just be yourself.

10. You argue not to get one up

Finally, you argue not to get one up on each other not to beat the other person not to defeat the other person but so that you can come to a healthy conclusion together. It's more of a discussion rather than an argument or a debate because it's not about who's right but it's about making sure that you come to the right conclusion together.

These are my ten tips on how to know when you've found the one, there's so many more things I could say but for this blogpost those were the ten I wanted to share with.

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